Tuesday, August 15, 2006

"We get sold the white picket fence and happy ever after. Nobody talks about the speed bumps."

"When two people get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to." H. Rowland

"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house." Zsa Zsa Gabor

"There is a crisis in America. That crisis is divorce. It is easier to get out of a marriage than it is to get out of a contract to buy a used car." M. Huckabee

It seems as if a day doesn't go by lately that I don't read about another 'famous' couple getting separated or divorced. The latest one was, sadly, about Kate Hudson and her soon-to-be ex-husband. It almost seems epidemic in our society today. These marriages seem to end after just a few years...or even months. Because these stories are plastered all over the news, we are much more aware of these break-ups than we would be of mainstream America's marital woes that occur every day. Statistically, 50% of all marriages today end in divorce.

Unfortunately, I can speak from experience about the toll that ending a marriage can have on a person as well as all those they love. After my 31 year marriage ended four and a half years ago, life took on a whole new meaning for me. Everything felt so different and unfamiliar for a while. There are definite stages that one has to go through when this fragmentation of all that we have known occurs...and, hopefully we get through it all intact. But, it isn't easy. Like everything else in life, these challenges can become moments of tremendous growth and self-discovery. For me personally, my choice has been to go through the rest of my life with love, kindness, and joy....and not to waste any energy on anger or resentment.

As I look forward to the birth of my first grandson, I know that the family will be gathered to celebrate this miraculous moment together. I will be standing next to the man that I spent so many years of my past life with and sharing the joys of grandparenthood with him. Although we are no longer man and wife and we have both moved on to new relationships... our hopes and dreams for the future will be forever connected for having brought two incredible sons into this world. Nothing can ever change that or take it away.

So, as baby Buddha enters this world, we will all share the joy of his birth together as a family...with rich memories of great love and happiness in our past and the capacity to create brand new memories for the future.

3 comments:

L. said...

Thanks for visiting, TJ. Thirty-five years! How wonderful! : )

Moobear said...

Such a touching blog today grammie! The results and outcome of some divorces are not as fortunate as yours, not that any are "fortunate"! Ironically, our post have some similarities today. God sees a way to take care of things and help all things to work out for those involved. God Bless your sons and their wives and soon to be Buddha! I guess if we live until Christmas Eve, we will chalk up 39 years. I just told mine this morning, quite literally....."I don't know what I would do without you"!
God Bless!

Gattina said...

I saw your profile in moobear's (he, he) comments and like your writing and also that you do artistic work. I have some paintings from me in my cat blog.
You are lucky becoming a grandma ! I am still waiting. My son just got the second shoe for his feet. A dutch girl !