Monday musings....

Ah, the beginning of a new week.

There is something very sweet about it...almost like having a bit of a clean slate that you can now write anything on.

As much as I moan and groan about my age, there is something very freeing about this time in my life. I am in charge. I am the decision-maker. I have the controls in my own hands...(yikes!)

After years of looking out for everyone else, it now seems to be my turn to look out for myself. This isn't always an easy transition for me, and I still find myself falling back into the caretaker role every now and again. That seems to be where I tend to be most comfortable so I find myself having to move out of that comfort zone quite often. It can be scary, but I am growing to actually embrace it...

Like everyone, I have certainly been on a roller coaster when it comes to the ups and downs of life...but the dips have made me appreciate the good times.

And, the goal, I find, is to bring it all into some sort of a balance.

All along the way, I continually discover so many new things about myself...things that I never took the time to look at before... and I like what I am finding. It wasn't always that way for me, it has taken me many years and tons of 'soul-searching' to find that core...those parts that make me "me". For the first time in a long time, I feel my authenticity really shining through...

At this point in my life, the responsibility of bringing up my children is basically finished. This doesn't mean that they don't still need me...and, hopefully, I will always be a large part of their lives....but, I feel so much pride when I look at my two boys and how independent they have become. They are both happily married and gainfully employed with wonderful futures ahead of them. And, now with precious Owen in Adam and Jenny's life, I have the pleasure of watching them become parents and continue the cycle of life...

One of the most difficult parts of being a parent is to know that you are doing all that you can to give your child roots so that he can eventually fly away on his own...but, it is also the most satisfying.

So, here I am, a 58 year old woman, finally becoming empowered.

I guess that this means that I am now, at last, truly a grown up....?!?!

Scary, isn't it? : )