It was so sweet of them to come by to give me a hug and let me know that they were thinking about me.
I am still not comfortable in this role as a grieving daughter.
When does it become real?
Maybe I should say, when does it stop being so surreal?
I talk to my mom every day and she seems to be doing "okay". I know that it is so difficult for her to get through each day. She tells me that the days are alright...but, the nights are tough.
I understand only too well.
Mom and I talked about the fact that right now we are both feeling "talked out" and very much needing to have some "quiet time" in our lives.
By that I mean turning off the television.... not answering the phone...not playing music....just silence.
Staying quiet is very underrated.
It is actually very freeing as it allows the mind to rest a bit.
After the last few weeks, I welcome the peace...
1 comment:
That quiet time is so important, and I'm glad that you have found that you take it for yourself. Your mom is going through the hardest of it. My dad talked about the nights being the hardest part of being left behind.
I love that your friends are there to help you, it's so nice, but for those that haven't lost a father, it's hard to receive their comfort, because they don't know the meaning of the grief. Just remember to allow yourself to be happy, to be sad, to talk about your dad and the things you remember. Tomorrow is 4 years since my dad passed, and every day I'm thankful that I didn't have to go through the hospital situation with him. The 9 months of cancer were very difficult, but he refused to allow me in - being the tough guy he always was, right up to the end. I am amazed at times to realize I miss him more than I do my mom, though I miss her too of course. So very hard sometimes, especially facing things where nobody could council like a parent. It never really stops being surreal or unreal, it just hurts a little less sometimes and hurts a lot more other times.
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