Tuesday, April 15, 2008

"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."

H. Ellis

In the rush of going and doing I still find myself stopping and remembering...

Not a day goes by that my dad is not in my thoughts.

I know that it will get easier in time...but, for now, it seems to get more difficult with each passing day.

The finality of it all is what I struggle with the most.

Something will happen and I tend to think about how Dad would enjoy the moment.

As I continue to get the joyous news of more grandchildren coming this year, my heart aches for the fact that Dad will not be here to get to know two more great-grandchildren.

I remember the pleasure that he got the last time that he was with Owen when the family got together to celebrate Mom and Dad's 65th wedding anniversary. He was down on the floor with Owen, even though his 89 year old body made it quite difficult.

As Dad was sitting on the chair with his feet propped up on the ottoman, I remember the delighted look on his face when I placed his first great-grandchild on his lap...ready for a bottle.

I recall that Dad seemed weaker than I had ever seen him...with some labored breathing and wheezing. But, he did not let that stop him from enjoying the glorious moments with his family.

He was the Patriarch....and these were the times when I know that he had to feel that he was a very successful man...Not in terms of money or possessions...but, in love.

I miss you, Dad....and I will hold on to the memories of you forever in my heart.

1 comment:

Beverly said...

Yes, your dad was probably looking at this beautiful family he and your mom had started. That must have made him very happy.