She was with me through all of the important moments of the last 18 years.
She greeted me every time that I came home and seemed genuinely happy to see me.
She was a warm and loving companion during those dark days following my divorce.
She made me laugh when she chased her tail around in a circle.
She had "Greta Garbo" eyes that gave her a unique look.
The doctors told me that I was lucky that she lived as long as she did.
But that doesn't help the emptiness and the hole in my heart that I am feeling tonight...
She was an orphan kitten whose mother had abandoned her.
My ex and two sons surprised me with her to me on my birthday 18 years ago.
It was love at first sight.
I had to be her surrogate mother for those first few months as I fed her with an eye dropper.
She was a feisty kitten, but I enjoyed her high energy.
I loved it at night when she would jump up on the bed and nestle next to me to sleep. I can still feel the soft purring sound that she made once she was in place.
After getting the tip of her tail accidentally caught in the back door, she lived most of her life with a stub of a tail...but still showed many of her emotions through that little tail.
In the last four years her health began to be compromised.
Today I found out that she had acute kidney failure, she was anemic, she had a bladder infection, and she was totally dehydrated....and, of course she has been deaf for the last few years. She was an old lady with a body that was betraying her.
I knew that her health was failing from her behavior the last few days....especially last night.
She seemed to have trouble walking and continued to pee outside of her litter box.
She wasn't eating or drinking and was gradually losing weight.
But last night was eery. It was as if she was trying to tell me that she couldn't handle all of this any more. She looked at me with different eyes and I could sense it.
The veterinarian (who is a dear friend) told me that her condition would only worsen as the days went by and her health would continue to deteriorate. So, today after many tears and much thought, I had Gizmo put to sleep.
It was the hardest decision that I have ever had to make...but I did it out of love and compassion.
I loved her enough to stop her suffering and to let her go.
Dave and I cried together as she drifted off to a peaceful sleep on her favorite purple blanket that we had carried her in to the clinic.
I only hope that she understood my decision and knew how much she was loved.
I will miss her terribly.
Rest in peace, dear Gizzie.
6 comments:
An argument against the existence of a god is that our pets don't live the same number of years we do.
I know how you feel and I'm sorry for you.
Oh Bertsky, you have no idea how much your kind words mean to me...especially this morning after a long, long night of missing her presence.
Thank you for understanding.
xoxo
I'm so sorry about Gizmo....
Just this side of Heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been expecially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all or our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks in the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved fur, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together......
Clara....
How BEAUTIFUL and comforting.
Thank you.
xoxo
I cried for you and I cried for me. It was as if you were writing about my dear pet which, I mercifully had to make the hard decision 7-years ago. I wish your heart comfort for the loss of your Gizzie.
Thank you for your kind words...and your comforting wishes.
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