Sitting here not really even knowing exactly what day it is...I am thinking about so many things.
As my dad continues to be "stable" down in Florida, I find myself here in Birmingham counting my blessings...especially the gifts of love that I feel from my family.
Dad's illness has changed us all forever.
As we give him the necessary time to heal, we are all taking the time to discover so much about ourselves.
My four sisters and I are so very different...it amazes me at times to realize that we all come from the same parents...as well as the same environment.
We each deal with things in our very own way...and through this difficult period of time with Dad in the hospital...we are in the process of learning to understand and respect those differences.
It's not always easy, but it is a journey that we are taking together....bound by the love, not only for our parents, but for each other.
Collectively, we can be there for Mom. Mom, who is having to dig deep inside her soul right now to come up with strengths to get through each day. As she goes to visit her life partner of 65 years every day, she told me that she feels an intense sense of helplessness. I can't even begin to imagine what she is experiencing right now. She wants to see signs that he is improving and that he is not in pain...but can't always find those signs and leaves feeling weary and confused...and frightened.
I know that she realizes that she isn't alone in any of this, however, she also recognizes that this is going to be a long, slow recovery period and that she must find a spirit of independence from within to keep going on with her life as it is right now.
I see such a wonderfully capable and resilient woman in her...and I can only hope that she, too, will see and discover her own courage in the next days, weeks, and months ahead.
While the "family" love can envelope her, she must also seek her own inner strength and wrap that around herself during her times alone.
As we all search for patience and optimism during this period of slow healing...and continue to pray for Dad's continued strength and will to live....we must stay hopeful and continue to look forward to the joyous blessings that life still has in store for all of us down the road.....
...as a family.
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