With age comes wisdom?

"What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other? George Eliot

As I approach the ripe old age of (gulp) 60 in September...I can't help but feel a bit of confidence from having lived through so many different life experiences.

You know what they say: "With age comes wisdom"!

Aack.

Nevertheless, at the garage sale this past weekend I had the opportunity to visit with an acquaintance from many, many years ago. It was great seeing her again and doing some catching up.

But, looking into her eyes as she told her story...I saw such sadness and fear.

She had been divorced for quite a few years now and the pain was still quite obvious in her face. As I listened to her words, I realized that she was "stuck" in the past and didn't seem to know how to move on.

There is something that connects women who have gone through a divorce. Only those of us who have experienced that type of loss can totally understand what it is like. Even though each situation is different, the basic emotions are similar...but, how the individuals handle "life after divorce" can be extremely varied.

All I could do was tell her some of my story and impart some of my "wisdom" (HA!) to her. Remembering back 6+ years ago after my divorce, I did recall how comforting it was to me to know that others had gone through this and survived. Some had not only survived but had moved on to a healthier, happier place.

I remember reading book after book back then...just devouring the pages filled with information that made me say: "Oh, I feel the very same way!".

Some I read several times until the words sunk in. Some made me well up with tears as I let some of my own pain out. I told her this as I began to put some of my "surviving divorce books" into her arms. She wanted to pay me for these garage sale items...but, I knew that these would be a gift from me and the 50 cents or a dollar that I might have made on them was nothing compared to the help that they might offer to her.

I talked to her about "getting back out there" when she was ready. She was very fearful of taking that first step and seemed to be hiding herself by staying busy with work and other excuses.

"Maybe I will do that someday when I lose this extra weight that I have put on." she said.

I told her that she was a beautiful person and that the right man would find that inner beauty when he got to know her. I encouraged her to take a chance...go online....talk to friends about her availability and interest....whatever it took.

I told her that finding companionship in our 50's was totally different than dating in our 20's (boy, is it!). By the time that we have all reached this age we have already become pretty set in our ways...and change becomes difficult at best...but that there is a comfortable calmness about having a more mature relationship at this point in our lives.

I also felt that she still had a lot of life left to live and to try and take those first "baby" steps as soon as possible...not to keep putting it off until??? I said that there is still so much happiness awaiting her and she so deserved a full and satisfying life.

I continued to encourage her as we laughed together about some of my early dating disasters...and I told her about having Dave's companionship and love in my life now.

After a while, we hugged good-bye...and, with her arms full of books...I watched her walk away.

I couldn't help but notice that she seemed to step a little livelier and stand a little straighter as she headed down the driveway...

...and, it made me smile.