Am I being "punked"?

Have you ever been in one of those situations that make you look around to see if you are on Candid Camera or on the show where people are fooled, or "punked"?

That was my experience yesterday as I decided to use part of my spa package... that was an incredibly sweet Valentine's gift from Dave.

I was so thrilled with his thoughtful gift and decided to use part of my "pampering package" yesterday to have a manicure and pedicure. Ahhhhhh.

From the moment that I walked into the place, I knew that this was going to be an "interesting" experience. It looked more like an antique shop than a spa as it was filled with big, heavy furniture and non-professional art work hanging along every available space. Where was the water fountain and the soft, relaxing music? And, what about the cool pitcher of fresh water with sliced lemons floating on top?

The woman at the little desk was nice..... but seemed a little "spaced out" and anxious as she took several minutes to understand why I was there. She kept saying that she hated it when "Jim" (names changed to protect the innocent!) left the shop. Suddenly, she got up and came back with a small paper cup filled with water and said, "Here is the water that you wanted." The strange thing is that I walked in with my own bottled water that I was holding right in front of her...and hadn't asked for any water! I was getting a bit concerned at this point.

Again, she asked my name and what time my appointment was. I said, "Two o'clock appointment for a manicure and pedicure." She began to look on the computer screen and said, "Oh, here you are at 3:30...now what were you here for again?" (By the way, I noticed that none of the many clocks in the place were moved ahead to the new time...but, nevertheless, my appointment was for 2...not three.

Now, I really began to think that this was probably a joke being played on me. I was actually looking for Howie Mandell or Allen Funt's son to come walking out laughing.

But, neither of them were anywhere to be seen.

Then she said that she would need to call Jim and tell him that I was there...but, she couldn't find her cell phone. Actually, she couldn't find her purse...and, the cell phone was in there....so, she wandered around for several minutes looking for the purse.

Giving up on this idea, she said for me to come on into the nail area and she would begin to do my manicure (but, she was the masseuse?!). This room was teeny tiny with two old desks and towels folded on the top. She began to file away at my nails until (luckily!!) Jim arrived. So, now, he took over. He even smiled and asked me if the woman that was at the desk was "all over the place---a little crazy"? I chuckled and said, "Yes, sort of"...."are you related to her? "She's my wife" he said very matter of factly. (oh)

To say that it was a very strange manicure would be an understatement. I don't even know how to describe it to you....there wasn't any nail soaking...very little cuticle work...and then, the polish was put on.

All I could think now was that I couldn't wait to get into a comfy pedicure chair...turn on the vibrator...and relax my feet in a nice warm, sudsy whirlpool.

Wrong again.

Instead, I was walked into another small area with a fish tank sticking into the wall and more art work hanging around. There was a wrought iron chair with a little stool where one of those plastic tubs was sitting. The water in the little tub was quite cool....so, when he asked me if it was warm enough and I responded "no"...he went and got a tea kettle filled with hot water and poured it in over my feet. It was all that I could do to keep myself from bursting into hysterical laughter. I just hope that no one in the shop wanted any tea that day...

Actually, the only people there were Jim, his wife, and me until a young gentleman came in for a treatment. When the wife finished with him and he left, she commented to both of us that the guy was there to get his back waxed...and that he was quite hairy. This was more information than I needed to know and thought how humiliated the guy would feel if he knew that she was talking about him when he was gone.

So, now the three of us are sitting in the "pedicure room" while Jim is doing my toenails. The two of them talked non-stop....and, every time that Jim talked, he stopped working on my feet. (I thought to myself that I was never going to get out of this place!)

It turns out that Jim's wife is the artist who painted the art work that was spread out all over the place. One by one she began to bring her work into the room for me to see. I must say that while it was amateurish, some of it was okay, After the "art showing" she decided to actually read me a little poem that she had written and got quite choked up as she read it. Still working (?!) on my toenails, Jim asked her to get his poem...which she did...and, he stopped my pedicure to read it to me. As he was reading, his eyes filled up with tears and he said, "This always gets to me..." Are you kidding me? Am I going crazy?? Am I at an art and poetry exhibit or a relaxing day at the spa?

Unfortunately, the conversation got into a little political discussion as Jim was not pleased at all that Obama was elected President. In fact, he intensely dislikes the man....and that's not even strong enough to express how this man felt about our new President! Being an Obama supporter, I should have kept my mouth shut at this point, but he got me a bit riled up with some of the things that he was saying. The more he talked, the harder he massaged my feet and legs until it was getting a bit uncomfortable. I finally said, "Ow!' and he took the hint. At that point I thought that I was probably better off discussing his wife's art and poetry... : O

I will say this...the final outcome looks pretty good...and, as I left there looking at my newly polished nails and toes I began to laugh out loud....what an experience....

....and, more importantly it kept me from thinking about my cracked commode back home...