Support

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view." Harper Lee

Last week I went to my girlfriend's ovarian cancer support group with her. It was her first time, and I decided to go as a support for her.

Walking into the small room at the local American Cancer Society, I began to scan the faces of the women who were slowly arriving. "What were the stories that these women held deep inside?" I began to wonder.

I would soon learn.

After devouring lunch, we settled into our seats and began to visit with the other cancer survivors. I watched as my friend began discussing her chemotherapy, the doctors, the nurses, wigs, and the side effects of the treatment, etc. Things that connected these women in a way that was not of their choosing...but, it was a connection nonetheless.

Serious talk was mixed with laughter as commonalities of being a cancer patient began to surface.

After some announcements, the head of the group asked that each woman there introduce themselves and tell a little about their journey.

The stories were as varied as the women themselves. Some had finished their rounds of treatment and were cancer free....others weren't as lucky. One woman in particular found out the day before the group met that her cancer had returned and she would be starting chemo once again. Everyone in the room understood her emotions. I was listening...and, learning...

When it was my friend's turn, she continued to amaze me. As she sat there looking beautiful in her wig and her teal shawl... she began to hand out her teal (ovarian cancer color) bracelets for the women in the group. She went on to talk about what she was personally doing to survive...including her scrapbooking, her alternative treatments, her email updates that now go out to way over 200 people, her bike team that she had organized to raise money for ovarian cancer...and, raise money she has: $16,000!

I was so proud of her...I just sat there and smiled at this incredible and courageous friend of mine.

The women's faces told so much about their journeys...so much could be felt by looking in their eyes. Some were full of strength....some were filled with fear....some had big smiles of accomplishment on their faces....and some just looked weary from treatments that were taking away some of their energy and vitality.

At one point I began to feel some guilt at being there...a person who, thankfully, hadn't faced the challenges that they had. But, the guilt was quickly replaced by this incredible feeling of getting a little closer to a real understanding of what cancer looks like, what cancer does, and what cancer can feel like.

As we left the meeting, I looked at my friend and felt my heart fill with love, awe, and respect for how she has taken on this horrible disease.

I left there a different person than the one who entered the room an hour before....and, for that, I was very grateful.